Shades of Gray

“When did love become un-moving? When did love become un-consuming?”

—“You Can Have Me” by Sidewalk Prophets

I’m not sure how much I relate to the song in its entirety, but this line stopped me in my tracks. It’s strange to hear your own thoughts put to music over the radio - especially a thought you’ve never expressed aloud and believed (however irrationally) to be unique to your own mind.

But the truth is, I can’t help but wonder when we became so afraid of passionate love. Love that moves you, that consumes you.

Now, I’m speaking of course with the bias of 20-something female POV, but I’m getting a bit tired of strong emotion being seen as something akin to pure folly. And any woman who admits she needs a man may as well be exiled to the 50s where she belongs. But why?

Independence is so revered in our culture, but honestly, I think it’s just a shield. A way to never have to admit your vulnerability, because being independent means you can take care of yourself. It also means you never allow someone to really move you or consume you, because that would mean admitting they have some kind of influence in your life. And we wouldn’t want that.

But is it healthy to maintain such distance from others in the name of independence? Is it really possible to be happy - or trulyin love - if we never leg go of our obsession with independence?

Maybe it’s time we allowed something to move us to the point of tears. To be so consumed by love that we simply don’t want to live without that special someone. To place ourselves that vulnerable place - and allow ourselves to be carried away by love.

That place, to me, is much healthier than staunch independence. And much more courageous.